Connecting

One Plus One is a long-established family relationships counselling service in the UK. It's now on the web and offers resources, information and help to those in this area of need.

However, there's another side to the site, one that's more innovative and which is helping a great number of couples to come to terms with difficulties in the marriage or relationship. This side is called The Couple Connection, and it consists of three primary areas: Check it out, Talk it out and Work it out.

The first area is open to all readers and begins the process of assisting with the relationship by asking a number of basic questions to ascertain where the reader is at. It also warns when the site won't be of help and where professional assistance will be needed.

The second section is for people to write something about their relationship: how they're feeling, what's troubling them, whether their partner is being unfaithful and a good deal more. Other readers can comment on these, and there are always a number of trained counsellors reading through these postings to supply more specific help.

Finally there is the Work it out section. This is a completely private area for each reader, and acts as a place where the writer can post all manner of feelings, rubbish, junk, stuff that's hurting them, that's bugging them and much more. It's a place of catharsis, and many readers say that as they go back and read through this material, they begin to see what the real issues are, and can begin to act on them rather than on the peripheral stuff.

In one way the site is similar to the old 'chat over the fence' approach that probably saved far more marriages than we'll ever know. But by bringing anonymity into the mix, and providing hundreds of other people to offer supportive advice, this makes innovative use of the technology now available.

Keeping Time

John Sweetman, on the Neoleader blog, makes several good points about watching how you handle your time as a minister.
A couple of these are of particular value:

Keep a to-do list. It's better to have a list of jobs to do (it can be updated daily) rather than trying to keep things in your head, and hoping you'll remember what's important. Otherwise it's easy to get sidetracked onto less important tasks. And keep the list handy: if it's hard to access, like being in some program on your computer, you'll be less likely to pay attention to it. (Paper and pen are still valid tools in the postmodern age.)

Let your diary be your protector and pay attention to it. It's perfectly valid to book yourself up on so many days of the year, but not on others. An essential number of days need to be kept free for family, relaxation, retreats, exercise and friends. It's a good idea, John writes, to block out these days at the beginning of the year, and make them non-negotiables. Only true emergencies should take them over.