What Men Want

According to a survey of 400 readers of the UK magazine for Christian men, Sorted, men who regularly go to church prefer "proper macho songs," and feel uncomfortable with hugging and with sitting in circles discussing their feelings. The majority of men, the survey said, go to church to be intellectually and spiritually challenged. They want strong, motivating messages, and more discussion on family issues and money, two of the most popular topics.

Only a small number - around 8% - said church was too feminine. But at least half don't like dancing in church and even more said embroidery and flowers turn them off. However, around 60% said they enjoyed singing, and were more motivated by proclamation-type hymns than sentimental songs.

Church discussion groups did very little for many men, and a number suggested that the pub would be a much better place for interaction.

So there you go: if you're wondering what's putting men off church, this might be worth checking out!

God's view of religion

From Charles Slagle's book, From the Father's Heart, page 76. God writing, with a degree of tongue-in-cheek, to his son, Charles.

Believe it or not, I too find religion boring - extremely boring. In fact, I often find it annoying. Has it occurred to you that I might be interested in many other subjects? I AM. My range of interest just might be even wider than yours!

I like various sports, arts, writing, music - and jokes. And although some would be shocked to hear it, I enjoy theatre and dancing immensely. And why not? I AM the Inventor, if you recall. I also happen to be very fond of animals. Or haven't you noticed? Oh, yes, I AM an incurable bird watcher and sparrows are some of My favourites. Geography and astronomy never cease to interest Me, and I also delight in chemistry and micro-biology. No doubt you have observed this.

Yet, like yourself, I AM repelled by meaningless rituals and routines. The realm of organised religion is very dull and drab, I think. Its goals and interests are mostly unrelated to Mine. If I attend a religious event, I do so strictly from a sense of duty - you can be sure of that. I make it a policy to attend only if I AM invited, so, as you surmise, I rarely go at all. By that I mean My heart is not in it. In one sense it would be impossible for Me not to be there. Perhaps that is what might be called one of the less fortunate aspects of being omnipresent?

We have more in common than you think! I find flowery speeches a bore, tradition tedious and I hate religiosity. But I do love people. That is why I can't just simply give up on the Church. But isn't that the way love is? Love doesn't have an 'off and on' switch. At least, My kind never does.

Besides, when I think of the Church I think of My family. In My view, the religious rat race is a universe removed from what the Church is really about.

Trivial

Many Christians place great legalistic, spiritual importance on abstinence from relatively trivial things (from dancing to movies to swearing to card playing to mowing the lawn on Sundays). This is because Christians aren’t much different from others in relation to important things (basic values and behavior concerning wealth, power, prestige, justice, security, peace, work, time). Christians know they should be different from the world in some way — otherwise, what would Christianity mean? So, in an effort to establish some kind of Christian distinctiveness, they focus on the trivial. And the trivial is that which does not require us to make difficult changes in our lives… Like the Pharisee, we “strain out the gnat and swallow the camel.”

From Christian Smith's book: Going to the Root: Nine Proposals for Radical Church Renewal (published 1992, so probably a bit hard to get. Let me know by email if you'd be interested in a copy and I'll see what I can do.)