Male & Female He made them

The World Council of Churches in partnership with the World Communion of Reformed Churches has just produced a book - it can downloaded as a pdf- called Created in God's Image: from hegemony to partnership.

The subtitle is: A Church Manual on Men as Partners: Promoting Positive Masculinities. It's edited by Patricia Sheerattan-Bisnauth and Philip Vinod Peacock, and a wide range of writers from around the world have contributed to it. The book has a number of suggestions as to how it might/should be used at the beginning and is laid out in short sections suitable for housegroup study or for other small groups to work on.

Here's the introduction:

In the creation account of the very first chapter in the Bible, the emphasis laid on God creating humanity as male and female in God’s Image is very significant. However, throughout history,cultural and other social factors have led even believers to think and act in ways inconsistent with this basic truth of both male and female being created in the Image of God. In so doing, such people have yielded to values that seem to glorify gender injustice. Men in many cultures have adopted hegemonic attitudes and ways of life and have oppressed women, and far too often they justify such behaviour either by reference to Bible passages or church doctrines.

A rereading of the word of God, acknowledging that human beings (male and female) are
created in the Image of God, demands that we act differently. Such an acknowledgement is inconsistent with any way of life which makes a man a kind of demigod” over women. If men have been culturally and socially conditioned to having a hegemonic self- understanding, our coming to faith in Christ calls us to begin putting off this “burden” and to begin to learn ways in which God calls men and women to partnership, in living in community as well as in engagement in God’s mission.

This is what this book is about. The book is a result of men and women of God reading the word of God and daring to ask critical questions about how we can be more faithful to God in how women and men relate. The book has been developed with sensitivity to invite men into dialogue and critical examination of what it means to be a man in today’s society. It is neither confrontational nor prescriptive, but takes into consideration that gender analysis needs to be contextual and must be done with gender justice perspectives. While some men who see their identity in the “macho” cultural construct may find the contents of this book challenging, many faithful Christians who are ready to be faithful to the Word of God will find this book resourceful and will see it as a valuable instrument that will strengthen their faith as they commit to the vision of partnership reflected in God’s intention for women and men.

The sign in the picture comes from the psdgraphics site.

It's all about Mana

Family Planning NZ has picked up an overseas idea and made it their own (think this is called ‘contextualization’ – one word I’ve learned while working at National Mission! LOL).
They’re calling the programme It’s about Mana, and it’s intended for young men – those in the later stages of schooling and beyond – with the hope that they’ll question traditional male values: the idea that real men are always in control (but have uncontrollable sex drives); deserve entitlement or respect, and that women are objects, amongst other things. Holding these ideas up to the light is intended to work against relationship violence. “If young men are involved in discussions that show that most men don’t use or condone violence towards women, this will make it harder for violent individuals to justify it as normal behaviour.”
Read more on the Family Planning site or join the Facebook page.

And more on the same topic. There’s a very interesting report from the International Planned Parenting Federation called Men are Changing. While personally I’ve had some qualms in regard to the work of the IPPF over the years, this report is essentially positive and shows that a great deal of important work is being done in regard to the way men see themselves and their relationships to women - and other men. The interesting thing about this report is the case studies for once don’t come from European or North American contexts (there is a Canadian one) but from African, South American and Asian countries.
You can download the pdf here.

Boys don't cry and other lies we tell men....

In an excellent article on the Sojourners site, Catholic priest, Richard Rohr, looks at the way the inner life of men is hugely neglected in modern culture - with disastrous results.
Here are some extracts - but please read the whole article, which is full of wisdom.

Take a typical woman, educated or uneducated, of most any race or ethnicity, and give her this agenda: “You are not to have any close friends or confidants; you are to avoid any show of need, weakness, or tender human intimacy; you may not touch other women without very good reason; you may not cry; you are not encouraged to trust your inner guidance, but only outer authorities and “big” people; and you are to judge yourself by your roles, titles, car, house, money, and successes. People are either in your tribe, or they are a competitive threat—or of no interest!” Then tell her, “This is what it feels like to be a male, most of the time.” Maleness can be a very lonely and self-defeating world.

I know I am walking on sacred ground here, but I am going to say it: The church often does not really encourage an inner life. It substitutes belief systems and belonging systems and moral systems for interior journeys toward God. As a result the outer behavior is pretty weak as well. I would be willing to argue this position at the highest levels of Catholic hierarchy, Protestant scripture interpretation, or fundamentalist mental gymnastics.

In fact, the reason that such external hierarchy, simplistic and dualistic readings of scripture, and heady fundamentalism exist at all is primarily because of the male unwillingness to feel, to suffer, to lose, and to stand in the place of the outsider with even basic empathy. Which, of course, is exactly where Jesus stood and suffered, “even to accepting death, yes death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). How do we dare to worship a “loser” and yet so idealize winning?

If our churches do not find ways to validate, encourage, structure, and teach men an inner life—as opposed to mere belief systems, belonging systems, and moral systems, which the Olympics do much better!—I am not sure what the church’s reason for continued existence might be. We are failing the test with one half of the species, which means we are failing for the other half too. Organized religion is not doing its inherent job of transforming people at any deep level.

A rift between the males in church?

Circuitously - in other words, via the sustain-if-able kiwi blog - I came across a piece by a blogger I'd never discovered before, but will definitely be keeping an eye on: Richard Beck, on his blog, Experimental Theology.

The piece is entitled: Thoughts on Mark Driscoll...while I'm knitting, and looks at whether educated men in churches tend to dismiss, or lose track of, the guys who are 'blue collar'. There's a video of Driscoll doing his usual in-your-face thing about what the church isn't doing right - and, as Beck says, he's mostly right on this. However Beck has more to say on the subject, and he's right too. Here's a quote from it.

Most church leaders are highly educated. This means that most church leaders are culturally divorced from the average NASCAR [National Association for Stock Car Racing] fan. The very group Driscoll is targeting.

But here is the very important point about all this. A lot of the reaction to Driscoll isn't even about gender. We are actually talking about the little discussed fissure running through many churches: Education.

I see this everyday in my own church. The educated teach, preach, and have the public leadership roles. The uneducated are marginalized. Worse, if you are an uneducated male, you are force-fed those feminine metaphors. Educated males, being chickified, don't mind or even notice the feminine metaphors. But Joe Six Pack notices the metaphors. All this creates a disjoint in the church. Two groups of males who find each other alien and weird. So when Joe Six Pack wants to start a Wild at Heart study the chickified church leader just blinks uncomprehendingly. Or, if you are me, turns back to his knitting...

I've added the word, chickified, both my spellchecker and my personal vocabulary. Read the rest of Beck - and watch out that you don't get distracted by a host of other pieces he's written, such as those on Calvin and Hobbes, or one on 'pants.'

Binge-drinking

In the NZ Herald on the 5th of January, Mick Duncan wrote an opinion piece about women and binge-drinking.

He believes the reason why so many young (middle-class) women go out binge-drinking is that they’ve lived cotton wool-lives, protected from all sorts of risks, told not to speak to strangers, driven to and from school, and much more. Everything was made safe for them as they grew up.

Binge-drinking involves risk: I might get arrested, I might get knocked down by a car, I might get raped or wind up in bed with a total stranger. I might not even survive the night.

While it isn’t much of a reason for these young women to be doing what they do, it perhaps shows that helping children avoid risks isn’t as healthy at it might seem.

It also shows, perhaps, that these people know little about bigger adventures in life; they feel their lives are constrained. (And the same probably goes for the young men, including the boy racers.)

What do you think about Mick's conclusion?

Sheds, Streets and Charity

I wrote about the Men's Sheds movement in Australia a few posts back. I didn't know that the movement had reached New Zealand as well, so was pleasantly surprised to read in the paper this week that a second Shed was just up and running. They're actually calling them "Blokes' Sheds" here, so it may be an uptake of the idea rather than an offshoot of it.

The first Dunedin shed was established at Taieri Airport about a year ago (Taieri Airport now being a place where only little planes take off from), and the second shed is in the grounds of the Kings High School. It goes by the name of the South Dunedin Blokes' Shed, and officially opens on Saturday the 5th Sept, 2009. (Apparently Alexandra is also in the process of setting up a Blokes' Shed and Wellington is in on the act too.) You can see a video from Channel 9 about the Taieri Blokes' Shed here.

On another front, a group called Living Streets Dunedin is initiating the concept of making Dunedin streets more pleasant for pedestrians through "highlighting the good, the bad and the ugly in their walking environment." This sounds a little like the idea of getting to know your community, which Flagstaff Parish began a year or so ago.

And who says charity is dead? A young girl, Grace Hughes, was featured on television in July and in the Otago Daily Times in August. She has an inability to eat, and could be helped by treatment at a hospital in Austria. As the Star newspaper reports: Since then the family has been inundated with offers of help.

Men's Sheds

I came across an Australian book yesterday called The Real Men's Toolbox: a DIY health manual for men, by Tammy Farrell. I haven't had a change to have a good look at it yet, (I saw it in passing at a local bookshop), but it has some good things to say about men's mental health, and what's more, it introduces the concept of Men's Sheds, a significant movement in Australia.

On the Men's Sheds site they state: Problems with men's health, isolation, loneliness and depression are looming as major health issues for men. Men's sheds can play a significant and practical role in addressing these and other men's issues. Men’s sheds can help connect men with their communities and mainstream society and at the same time act as a catalyst in stimulating their community's economic activities.

The sheds appear to be focused more at older men, if the pictures are anything to go by, but by no means exclusively. They talk about mentoring younger guys; not only youths, but blokes in their 30s and 40s. What they're doing, in effect, is rebuilding what was normal in the old days, when men would get together as a matter of course and work on rebuilding, renovating, helping each other put stuff together, chewing the fat and drinking no doubt. With society having focused to such a degree on every man for himself and every family separate from other families, this natural approach to life has withered away. And brought with it issues such as those mentioned in the earlier paragraph.

The Men's Sheds site has a good deal of info on it, and several slide shows (rather than videos). Spirituality is part of the approach, though this isn't discussed from any particular religious point of view. However I get the impression Men's Sheds are varied in their style, and no doubt there's plenty of room for discussing life and death and all the issues in between.

Photo by Jim Vance

Happiness is as happiness does

According to the latest UMR survey, the happiest men in the country are in the Nelson/Marlborough region, and the happiest women come from the Bay of Plenty. Wellingtonians, however, are the least happy people in the country.

Interestingly, people on less than $20,000 a year are slightly happier than those earning between $70,000 and $100,00. People earning over $100,000 are the happiest of the lot. People in the middle income brackets ($30-70,000), however, are the least happy. (Which probably shouldn't come as much of a surprise: they'll be the ones trying to bring up a family, pay off a mortgage and so on.)

Wellington.Scoop reports: The key things that make people happy are their relationships with their family and friends and their job. For women, the relationship with their family and children is a far more significant factor in their happiness than it is for men. However, for men their relationship with their spouse or partner, control over their life or destiny, recreation time and hobbies are more important than they are for women.

UMR finds that people are less happy than they were when the previous survey was done in 2007/8, and that overall, females are happier than males. People in mid-life are less happy than the young or old (which is hardly a revelation - who has all the responsibility?!), and ethnically, Maori and Europeans were the happiest groups, with Asians the least happy. (However, with a large number of people classifying themselves as 'other,' ethnically, this area of the survey is somewhat skewed.)

Another not-surprising point: widow(ers) and married people were happier than single and divorced, though there might be a certain irony in the fact that widowers were little happier than widows, and married women were a little happier than married men. Curiously women in de facto relationships were happier than men in the same boat. Which seems almost at odds with how people in these relationships are generally viewed.

People living without children are happier than those living with children. At first this seems a point that doesn't bode well for our future, until you realise that it's the lack of dependent children that makes people happier.

And just to prove that we're a quirky lot: Labour voters are happier than National voters. Go figure.

UMR comes to this conclusion: If you want to keep happy through the recession – socialise, keep in close touch with family or friends, have an interest in sports, a hobby or the arts and feel good about yourself.

Where would we fit in, as a Church, on the happiness scale?

Photo by Jill Greenseth from 'Four Happy People'

Twitterstats

In relation to the various posts on here about Twitter and other similar social networking devices, I was interested to read some stats on Twitter which showed that it's being used differently to most other social media sites, such as Facebook and MySpace.

1. Although men and women follow a similar number of Twitter users, men have 15% more followers than women. This is interesting in view of the fact that only 45% of Twitter users are men, while 55% are women,

2. An average man is almost twice more likely to follow another man than a woman, and 40% more likely to be followed by another man. Women are 25% more likely to follow a man. What is surprising about this is that on a typical online social network, most of the activity is focused around women - men follow content produced by women they do and do not know, and women follow content produced by women they know.

3. The top 10% of prolific Twitter users accounted for over 90% of tweets. Many Twitter users use it once, or rarely. Compare this to Wikipedia, where 15% of the most prolific editors account for 90% of the edits.

There's more detail in the article, which is worth checking out if you're interested in stats, and the conclusions that can be drawn from them. And then considering how any of this relates to how we 'do' church...

Getting it off your chest

While the information in the report discusssed below pertains to Great Britain, most of it is very relevant to the New Zealand scene.
The report is called: Men and Mental Health – get it off your chest. It has some interesting and occasionally surprising things to say about men’s mental health.
One of its recommendations, for instance, is that health professionals should take gender into account when discussing treatment options with men. In other words, men have tended to be treated as less important in the mental health scene for a number of reasons which are discussed during the report.
Amongst these are a tendency for services are often ‘feminised.’
Many men ‘act out’ when having mental health issues, which often leads them to be criminalised because of their anti-social behaviour. The report reminds us that professionals need to recognise that ‘aggressive and violent behaviour is a potential indicator of mental distress.’
Men feel more comfortable discussing their issues in men-only groups, and if men are unemployed for too long they are likely candidates for depression. While partners or spouses may understand the man’s mental health, other family members often deride it.
There is also some discussion of mental health and gays, blacks and other minorities, and the elderly. Altogether this report makes essential reading.

For more information about men's groups, check out this article from the Sunday Star-Times, April 2009

Men's Group

After my brief comments the other day about What Men Want I need to mention a feature-length movie about men, their needs, their feelings, their emotions (and the inability to express them). Men’s Group takes six men and pulls their lives together through a series of meetings. It’s raw, the language is blunt and down-to-earth (they are Australians, after all) and it’s made a huge impact wherever it’s been shown. Boris Sokratov, of the Out of the Blue depression awareness campaign, wrote: Men’s Group explores dark territory: anger, remorse, fear and regret. In ‘man speak,’ Men’s Group is a story about men talking about stuff: touchy feely emotionally hard stuff. Regrettably many of those who might benefit the most by seeing the movie are unlikely to go near it. On the other hand the more of us who do go the better. Definitely worth a look.
You can see a trailer of the movie here, and the website is here (though it’s a bit thin on information about the film itself). The film has been showing on a limited release around the main centres of New Zealand in May. Hopefully it will soon be available on DVD for all those who aren't in the main centres.

What Men Want

According to a survey of 400 readers of the UK magazine for Christian men, Sorted, men who regularly go to church prefer "proper macho songs," and feel uncomfortable with hugging and with sitting in circles discussing their feelings. The majority of men, the survey said, go to church to be intellectually and spiritually challenged. They want strong, motivating messages, and more discussion on family issues and money, two of the most popular topics.

Only a small number - around 8% - said church was too feminine. But at least half don't like dancing in church and even more said embroidery and flowers turn them off. However, around 60% said they enjoyed singing, and were more motivated by proclamation-type hymns than sentimental songs.

Church discussion groups did very little for many men, and a number suggested that the pub would be a much better place for interaction.

So there you go: if you're wondering what's putting men off church, this might be worth checking out!