Excuses

Excuses for why someone might not attend church...er, football:

I made up my mind never to go to another football game. I’ve attended faithfully for many years, but now I’ve had it. Here are my reasons.
1) I was taken to too many games by my parents when I was small.
2) The games are always played when I want to do something else.
3) Every time I go to a game, somebody asks for money.
4) The other people who go to games hardly ever speak to me, and the coach can’t remember my name.
5) The seats are too hard. Besides, sometimes I have to sit down front at the 50 yard line.
6) There are hypocrites in the crowd. Some of them just come because they think it’s a good place to be seen. Others just want to see what people are wearing.
7) The referee says things I don’t agree with.
8) The band plays numbers I’ve never heard before.
9) Some games last too long and I get home too late.
10) I have a good book on football, so I’ll just stay home and read it.

From Ralph Milton's Rumours ezine.