Face to face

Two different articles from The Guardian, both relating in some way to mental health.

Firstly, How to beat depression - without drugs, looks at the work of Dr Steve Ilardi, and his book, The Depression Cure: the six-step programme to beat depression without drugs. Dr Ilardi isn't saying anything particularly new, but he does note one thing especially:

Social connectedness is important to Ilardi. In The Depression Cure, he argues that the brain mistakenly interprets the pain of depression as an infection. Thinking that isolation is needed, it sends messages to the sufferer to "crawl into a hole and wait for it all to go away". This can be disastrous because what depressed people really need is the opposite: more human contact.

Which is why social connectedness forms one-sixth of his "lifestyle based" cure for depression. The other five elements are meaningful activity (to prevent "ruminating" on negative thoughts); regular exercise; a diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids; daily exposure to sunlight; and good quality, restorative sleep.

And social connectedness is the focus of the second article:

the lack of face-to-face interaction can make the world wide web a lonely place sometimes. But fear not, for not only can you use the web to order your takeaway and DVD, now you can also use it to order the friend you share them with.

Rent a Friend, which already offers its services in the US and Canada, is being launched in the UK this week to give people the chance to overcome their British reserve and hire someone to keep them company. Unlike the myriad dating websites, which cater for everything from a long-term relationship to a no-strings fling, Rent a Friend advertises itself as "strictly platonic", while also emphasising that it is not an escort agency.

So face-to-face contact may be coming back into its own.

Top Ten NZ Christian blogs (for October 2009)

The stats are a little behind, but for those who are interested in such things, here are the top ten NZ 'Christian' blogs as at October 2009. (The post I found this on was actually published only a couple of days ago.)

I've put 'Christian' in quotes only because some of these sites, while written by Christians, don't necessarily focus primarily on the subject of Christianity - and some of them such as Something should go here - maybe later, a blog I'd never heard of till today, are as in-your-face as they come, while still definably Christian.

The MandM site, which posted this information, comes out on top. The blog is written by a husband and wife team, and tends to focus more on the political than the spiritual. However, their foundation is Christian.

1. [1.] MandM 14.5 (3 – 26)
2. [2.] NZ Conservative 17 (5 – 29)
3. [3.] MacDoctor Moments 17.5 (18 – 17)
4. [4.] Something Should Go Here, Maybe Later (HalfDone) 19 (10 – 28)
5. [5.] Say Hello to my Little Friend (Beretta Blog) 21.5 (8 – 35)
6. [6.] Being Frank 34.5 (36 – 33)
7. [7.] Liturgy Worship Spirituality* 37 (34 – 40)
8. [8.] Brad Heap 44.5 (46 – 43)
9. [N.] Manawatu Christian Apologetics Society 46 (43 – 49)
10. [N.] The Briefing Room 51 (81 – 21)

While you have a few moments, check these blogs out. I've only ever come across the 1st and the 5th before, myself, so I'll be doing some investigating of the others over the next period.

Church Growth Principles Remain

In an article entitled The Top Five Church Growth Principles, by Charles Arn (the son of Win Arn), briefly discusses the five main reasons why churches grow. It isn't programmes (we knew that, didn't we?); it isn't sound and light and huge displays of talent (of course!); it isn't a host of other things we've come up with over the years.

The five things are simple, and have been with us for a long time:

1. Disciple-making is the priority. Yup, that's what churches are there for.
2. Social networks are the vehicle - and while Mr Arn probably doesn't mean virtual social networks, it's that old connection of people to people that counts.
3. Felt needs are the connecting point. Starting where people are at...
4. Relationships are the glue. Being connected to people in the church is what stops people sliding out the back door.
5. Transitions provide the window of opportunity. When someone's going through a crisis, then they need Christ.

The links throughout are people, community, friendships, caring for others, love. Pretty simple, really. Now, go forth and multiply!

Happiness is as happiness does

According to the latest UMR survey, the happiest men in the country are in the Nelson/Marlborough region, and the happiest women come from the Bay of Plenty. Wellingtonians, however, are the least happy people in the country.

Interestingly, people on less than $20,000 a year are slightly happier than those earning between $70,000 and $100,00. People earning over $100,000 are the happiest of the lot. People in the middle income brackets ($30-70,000), however, are the least happy. (Which probably shouldn't come as much of a surprise: they'll be the ones trying to bring up a family, pay off a mortgage and so on.)

Wellington.Scoop reports: The key things that make people happy are their relationships with their family and friends and their job. For women, the relationship with their family and children is a far more significant factor in their happiness than it is for men. However, for men their relationship with their spouse or partner, control over their life or destiny, recreation time and hobbies are more important than they are for women.

UMR finds that people are less happy than they were when the previous survey was done in 2007/8, and that overall, females are happier than males. People in mid-life are less happy than the young or old (which is hardly a revelation - who has all the responsibility?!), and ethnically, Maori and Europeans were the happiest groups, with Asians the least happy. (However, with a large number of people classifying themselves as 'other,' ethnically, this area of the survey is somewhat skewed.)

Another not-surprising point: widow(ers) and married people were happier than single and divorced, though there might be a certain irony in the fact that widowers were little happier than widows, and married women were a little happier than married men. Curiously women in de facto relationships were happier than men in the same boat. Which seems almost at odds with how people in these relationships are generally viewed.

People living without children are happier than those living with children. At first this seems a point that doesn't bode well for our future, until you realise that it's the lack of dependent children that makes people happier.

And just to prove that we're a quirky lot: Labour voters are happier than National voters. Go figure.

UMR comes to this conclusion: If you want to keep happy through the recession – socialise, keep in close touch with family or friends, have an interest in sports, a hobby or the arts and feel good about yourself.

Where would we fit in, as a Church, on the happiness scale?

Photo by Jill Greenseth from 'Four Happy People'

Facebook friends

Mark Broadbent notes that there are about 300 young people attending his church.
There are 413 people on the church facebook group.
Mark has -as of this date - 946 facebook friends (and adds: yes - i unashamedly collect friends - feel free to add me!!)
The five people on the pastoral team of this church have 1500 friends between them.

Does it mean anything to have that many Facebook friends? Is the friendship fickle? Yes, and no, to both questions. What's more important is how Facebook gets used in this situation.
Can Facebook be used to expand your influence as a youth or pastoral leader? Can it be used to make disciples? The answer to both these questions is Yes.

Friendship

A friendship, like falling asleep, is something you cannot enter into by sheer willpower. I can open myself up to it. I can pray for it. I can look for people and invite them out for coffee. Then maybe we find common ground. Maybe we make each other laugh, or find the same books interesting. Then we find that we are somehow loyal to each other, want good things for each other, are willing to speak difficult truth to each other.

But I cannot make this occur. Friendship happens, when it happens, as a gift.

From a short article by John Ortberg entitled, Spiritual Friends.